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 Chris' Review: "Mindy! Did you see my underwear?" "No, Patrick." "... Do you want to?" Nothing short of hilarious. Ok...first of all, you really have to be in the right frame of mind for this movie. It's the animated equivalent of mainlining Hershey's Syrup while snorting Pixie Stix. Think of SpongeBob as a cartoon version of "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" and you're heading in the right direction. Don't look here for the meaning of life. Don't look for technically superior animation. Don't beg for polished images or pompous morals. This isn't "The Incredibles", nor does it seek to be. Peppered with subtle crude humor, pop-culture references, satire, and tons of wacky/zany originality; SpongeBob takes me back to what cartoons used to be when I was a little tyke, eating my Lucky Charms in my Scooby-Doo jammies, cuddled up in my blanket on the couch as my brain turned to mush. Not only did I have a heaping helping of nostalgia with this movie, but there were genuine laughs... like when Mindy, the adorable princess, daughter of King Neptune, promises, with her Mermaid Magic to turn SpongeBob and Patrick into "real men." Seriously, does anyone really think a line like that was written for a children's cartoon? I think not! Then there was the homage to "Ren & Stimpy" when SpongeBob and Patrick have their ice-cream hang-over. Oh, and let's not forget about the live action cameo by David Hasselhoff... there is just something about having the antagonist and protagonist of the film battling it out on the butt of David Hasselhoff as he skims through the water like a hydrofoil. Come on! That's bloody funny! I'm not going to say that the movie was perfect... there were a number of times where the action just slowed down so much that I found myself having trouble keeping my eyes open; but, when you're assaulted for 90 minutes by volley after sugary-sweet volley of high speed, action and saccharine laughs... it doesn't take much of a drop in the momentum to put your exhausted hypothalamus to sleep. So, yeah, a bit inconsistent... so there were slow parts... but it certainly wouldn't stop me from seeing it again. Ok, I can't really go on and on about the cinematography or the acting abilities in this one for obvious reasons. I also don't even want to bother getting into the technical aspects of the movie, because, let's face it, technical prowess is not what this movie is about. This is about good fun with a ridiculous story line. I went with the intent of being entertained, and I was. SpongeBob SquarePants: The Movie does itself proud... I only wish I had more time to watch the series version. I give it 7 thumbs up. Go watch this movie! Wait...Did I mention it had pirates, throughout? Well, it does! I changed my mind.. 8 thumbs up because of the pirates! Yar!   Jim's Review: On our new Message Boards (ahem), I discuss our method for choosing what films we watch for Tuesday Movie Night. Our only rule: It's gotta be a movie neither of us has already seen, in order that we approach it fresh for the review. Thus, we often wind up seeing films we may not necessarily want to...But that's kinda the point, I suppose. "SpongeBob Squarepants: The Movie" was admittedly such a film for me. I simply had no desire to see it. It's not that I dislike SpongeBob necessarily...I'm just not a fan. He's got a fanbase, and I'm simply not in it. Sure, the cartoons are cute. Full of bright colors and goofy humor. And I like that stuff as much as anyone. But I looked into the whole SpongeBob thing awhile back, and just kinda shrugged, and said, "Eh, whatever." Not for me. So, when it became apparent that we were down to "SpongeBob" or "Christmas with the Kranks"...It was time to make a tough decision: A decision between two movies I wasn't particularly excited about seeing. Ultimately, because it seemed less ridiculous to watch a movie about an animated sponge than it did to sit through a Christmas movie in mid-February, we went with SpongeBob. For what it's worth, the storyline of the film is pretty straightforward. The megalomaniacal, textbook Napoleon-Complex sufferer Sheldon J. Plankton (voice credited only to the shadowy "Mr. Lawrence") Is a tiny organism with big dreams: He wants to rule the world. And he plans to start by ruling the restaurants of SpongeBob's home of Bikini Bottom. His only obstacle is is the popular Krusty Krab, run by Eugene Krabs (Clancy Brown), and Employer of SpongeBob Squarepants (Tom Kenny). So he, like dozens of cartoon villains before him, hatches a foolproof plan to become master of all he surveys...He will frame Mr. Krabs for the theft of the crown of King Neptune (Jeffrey Tambor), and then steal Krabs' secret recipe for Bikini Bottom's most famous sandwich: The Krabby Patty. This Plankton does, enraging the king, and luring all of the customers to his own establishment, the Chum Bucket...Where he then slaps mind-control helmets on all of fishkind, thereby enslaving them to his will. Only in cartoons, folks. Naturally, Mr. Krabs is set upon by Neptune, who intends to fry him for his transgression. All that stops him is a plea from his sympathetic daughter, Princess Mindy (Scarlett Johannson), to allow Krabs time to return the crown. Naturally the ever-loyal SpongeBob pipes up that he'll venture to parts unknown to retrieve the crown. His friend Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke) offers to join him, and they're off on a classic buddy road movie. Along the way, they meet some rougher fish who menace them, a hitman-type character named Dennis (Alec Baldwin) hired by Plankton to ensure they fail, and David Hasselhoff. The entire proceedings are rendered in the same ultra-colorful, rapid-fire, acid-trip-type delivery that has made the series a favorite. It's not as seizure-inducing as Pokémon, although it's frequently uglier (Pity John Kricfalusi didn't patent bulging eyeballs, prominent veins, and snaggleteeth back when Ren & Stimpy did them first. He'd have made a king's ransom in licensing on this film alone). Still, there are some fun moments. The narrative is framed by a rather nifty device, there are enjoyable characters, and a few laugh-out-loud lines. There just isn't much here to indicate to me why Ol' Spongey has become such a phenomenon. I respect SpongeBob's place in pop culture, and I can see why he sells toys and holds the attention of kids, he just doesn't appeal to me. So while it is my duty to review, I feel kind of impotent rendering an opinion on this film. If this is the sort of thing you're into, then you'll be into this sort of thing. Personally, my Narcolepsy kicked in about halfway through, and I napped for the entirety of what I'm told was a somewhat fun little musical number...So apparently, I'm not the target audience. There's not much more I can say about SpongeBob, except...Three thumbs up. (As a personal postscript, SpongeBob has recently come under fire from conservative groups for supposedly promoting a gay agenda. Naturally, I'm torn on this issue. Is there material in the film that could indicate "gay" content? Well, yeah. Bucketloads of it. Do I think that means that SpongeBob is gay? In the first place, who the hell cares? He's a cartoon sponge, for chrissakes. In the second, so what if he is? Is tolerance such a bad thing? Sanctimonious, right-wing moralistas piss me off to no end with their superiority complexes as it is...Leave cartoons alone. Nobody bitched when Bugs Bunny dressed in drag and kissed Elmer Fudd, it was just goofy fun. And besides...People are gay, or they're not. It's like being left-handed, blue-eyed, or black. You can't change these things, and shouldn't want to. Nobody "turns" gay based on environmental factors regardless of what any scientifically retarded, backward-thinking old white Republican asshole says. Remember, the same people who say kids can "turn" gay are the same ignorant pricks who claim evolution is "just a theory". All giving Tinky Winky a purse or giving SpongeBob a friend he can hold hands with teaches kids is tolerance. Stop pushing sexuality on kids who have no concept of it, and want nothing more than to have everyone get along. End soapbox.) BackHome - Info - Reviews - Map - Message Board - Photo Album |
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